Playing Big

Last week I missed my son’s first day of Kindergarten.

I was traveling for work. It was hard. As I write this, I feel that I am trying to justify.

I am not justifying. I am acknowledging what many women face. Trade-offs.

I recently read a Forbes article which claimed that women become more ambitious and prioritize high-profile careers when there are few men around. When men are present, women prioritize family over career. In private, these same women desire similar workplace outcomes as men.  Women also publicly report more life goals than men, wanting to excel at family and career. This suggests women experience internal and external pressure to trade career for family.

And so for us who decide to work, we face trade-offs every day.

We can’t do it all. It is ok.
Let’s talk about it. Let's not judge.

It was amazing how much understanding I felt as my eyes teared up seeing my boys off to school on FaceTime.

It’s ok. We need to push away the guilt.

It is interesting that I feel inspired and empowered by successful female leaders, yet ironically I often feel defeated (self-inflicted) by “successful” moms.

There is no standard.

It’s ok.

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I was hired at 9 months pregnant

I remember the press, not to mention all the discussion around Yahoo’s decision to hire Marrisa Meyer at 6 months pregnant. So much noise… obviously this was not seen as the norm.

Although companies are not to discriminate, no doubt that being in your third trimester can be a disadvantage when applying for a job.

The perfect opportunity presented itself at when I was 8 months pregnant. I dared to google “interviewing while pregnant” and was shocked by the number of articles, blogs and chat rooms talking about how / if to approach the conversation with a potential employer. I was set on disclosing first round (my interview was on the phone, so I had that choice). For me, it was about transparency and planning; kicking it off with trust; working for an employer that recognized my value, not situation. After I received and accepted an offer, many persons were surprised to hear I was hired so late in pregnancy. It is still not the norm.

We all should work for companies that provide an equal platform for women and that invest in its people, for the long term.

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This is how to get the job or promotion you want

Creating your leadership brand is more important than ever. Don’t let work from home or online applications strip you from showing who you are as a leader.

Here are 5 tips on how to develop and leverage your personal brand:

1. Frame up who you are and how you want to present yourself
* Your strengths/talents – What am I good at?
* Your values/motivators – What matters to me?  What drives me?
* Your intersectional social identities – What are my unique perspectives?

2. Find your niche and be visible. Be it social media, lunch and learns or affiliation groups. People go to those they know in the field they share

3. Know how the organization defines leadership and speak the same language / translate your brand characteristics

4. Position your brand to articulate your potential, the value you bring (bring the data!), and how you will solve an organization's problem

5. Be consistent to your brand.  Walk the talk... over and over.  Bring credibility to who you are by being authentic

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I wanna thank me

I worked hard for this. I deserve this.
I wanna thank me.

My favorite lines from the Barbie movie and part of Snoop Dog’s Hollywood Star acceptance speech, which is my go-to to feel bold.

I was caught off guard when a Barbie accepted an award and instead of jumping to thank others she quickly attributed the win to her hard work.

It is not what we ladies do. We thank everyone else (don’t forget to be grateful - see my earlier Barbie post) and question if we truly deserve what we achieve.

You deserve it! You worked for it!

Although Snoop Dog recognizes and thanks the people that are part of his journey, he knows it: he is a “rockstar”.

Ladies … don’t ever forget that you own your successes! Thank YOU.

“Last but not least, I wanna thank me
I wanna thank me for believing in me
I wanna thank me for doing all this hard work
I wanna thank me for having no days off
I wanna thank me for, for never quitting
I wanna thank me for always being a giver
And tryna give more than I recieve
I wanna thank me for tryna do more right than wrong
I wanna thank me for just being me at all times
Snoop Dogg, you a bad …”

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Just say NO!

I said no…

“Just say NO” applies to so many aspects of our life. From effective, attentive and healthy parenting to driving business priorities.

Every day we need to make what seem like small decisions that have a big impact on our professional success and personal happiness:

- Do I attend this meeting or take my kiddo to school?
- Do I listen into this presentation or work on a customer response?
- Can I make time this week for this 1:1?

But what we should really be asking is what impact will each decision have and how it aligns with our personal and business priorities.

We can’t do it all. Stick to what is REALLY important: to you and to an organization.

People recognize what you do, not what you don’t do (if you don’t commit to it). So chose the right things. Just say NO!

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I took 3 weeks off

I took 3 weeks off.

Here is how it will impact my work:

Part 1. Self

I have a tendency to feel guilt. Guilt for not giving 100% be it to my family or to my work. Yet I don’t feel guilt for not focusing on me.

The truth is I / you can’t give 100% to all.

I am married, have two beautiful boys, a (BIG) puppy and a cat that joined our family during COVID. Each with a bold personality, no doubt like mama. I am a caretaker by nature and a bit of a control freak. So before and after work my world is tunnedin on making sure everything is taken care of for the people and animals in my life. Then at work, I strive to rock it. I often unfortunately forgo time to take care of me.

When I stripped out work, I was able to dedicate moments to all, one at a time, Zofia included: be it watching the sunset, taking a nap or simply not thinking about what’s next.

So how will 3 weeks off impact my work?

I recharged my batteries and got a new charger. I am again conscious of loosing juice; and trying to find more ways to recharge (solar works :-)).
I am ready to deliver, to be a rockstar; again.

“When you take time away from the stresses of work and daily life, it can improve your physical and mental health, as well as your motivation and creativity, relationships, job performance, and even your perspective. A vacation can help you feel rested, refreshed, resilient, and prepared to handle whatever comes when you return.”
- Colleen Reilly for Forbes

Take care of you. Recharge, whatever it looks like. Guilt free.

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5 Roles That A Technical Background Can Rock

If you have a science or engineering background here is a list of roles that you can rock!

1. Sales : customers trust those who understand their pain points, especially those who have walked a similar path. I wasn’t a sales person and that’s what I think made me a great one. I could speak the same language as my laboratory clients. I could empathize with research customers’ challenges. I never felt like I was selling, rather I was helping clients to solve a problem. Having a deep understanding of your product and empathy for your customer could get you to Presidents Club.

2. Product Management : not only are you the product expert, but you also bridge expertise in different areas of the company. Knowing the technical product and customer you can intimately understand the market, how to improve and develop a product to address need, and you get to lay out a plan to bring it to market! The cross-functionality of this role not only allows you to work with your product development kin, but you it will stretch you beyond your technical expertise as you learn how to manage a product P&L. To rock as a Product Manager you must be a product expert.

3. Innovation : this word alone gets me excited. As a researcher and an engineer, you are an innovator. Your background will allow you to asses viability of a technology, better asses market gaps to outline a new product or process roadmap. Although innovation should play a part in all roles described here, there are teams that focus specifically on driving innovation that feeds company strategy.

4. Operations : some may question me adding operations to the list. But as scientists and engineers we are curious of how things work, we challenge how things are done and thrive on improving processes. We are detail oriented. As an operation manager you utilize resources from staff, materials, equipment and technology to acquire, develop and deliver goods to customers. Its about asking questions, optimizing, organization, working within limitations, productivity ... it never gets boring as you manage supply chain, inventory, production forecasting and quality.

5. Entrepreneurship : ok so there is a number of roles you can play as an entrepreneur. But I didn’t want to leave this one off because I wish more talented scientists and engineers would bring their ideas and brightness to life. In the entrepreneurial world things work a little faster, you get to play outside the lines, things are a bit more risky, but most of all you get to experience it all: from sales, innovation, product management, operations. Although you can apply for jobs in start-ups, I will leave the conversation for how to get started with your own venture for another time ...

Want to learn more how to earn one of these positions? See upcoming blogs and interviews with women that rock these roles!

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It's time for girls to play superhero

It’s time for girls to play superheros.

I am a mom of 2 boys and have 2 sisters. I have lived the gender difference. Boys have superpowers that make them more confident as men. Girls are dolls that are expected to play house as women.

The recent AI avatar sensation, criticism aside, has done one great thing: it turns women into superheros.

Studies have shown that seeing a female Sci-fi hero makes girls believe they can achieve anything. A “simple” character can help girls feel brave, confident, inspired, positive and motivated.

I love that Hollywood is creating more and more of these bad ass (yes I said bad ass) lead role female superheros.

So think what you may; I am going to have fun with these AI avatars: it’s just another way to paint women as strong and powerful.

We need more female superhero leaders.

- Study review credit to A. Rodriquez

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I AM NOT HUMBLE

This is why:

First a few definitions of humble: “having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance”; “freedom of pride”; “not assertive”; “reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission”.

Pause.

Women often believe that when we speak up or strongly advocate for ourselves, we will be less liked. Women feel like we are bragging when we SHOULD BE PROUD and speak to our individual accomplishments and talents. Women often hide rather than show the world who we, you are; because we feel we will be punished for doing so.

“I am important. I am indispensable. I want to be recognized for and speak to my accomplishments. I am my brand.”

So ladies, unless I got the definition wrong … don’t focus on humble; rather be confident, know and speak to your worth like you would speak to o

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What an executive looks like is different today

We have all seen it. A job requirement calling for executive presence. Being seen as a leader seems as important as actually being one. Projecting confidence, decisiveness, poise, how we speak and even look.

Unfortunately women and minorities struggle more to earn the badge of executive presence, mostly because historically the “standard” has been set by white men. Women also often find executive presence contradictory.

So after a review of a number of articles on this topic, here are 3 universal tips for how to authentically build and exude executive presence.

1. Articulate a clear vision. Your ability to inspire will be underlined by the ability to communicate what you are working to achieve.

2. Build real and diverse relationships. Your ability to influence will be rooted in working through difference in opinions; working to create a close network not only earns you votes, it demonstrates your focus on people.

3. Be self-aware. Know how people perceive you. You don’t need to fit every mold, but self-awareness will allow you to focus on your strengths, to work through your weaknesses, and most importantly to be consistent with your brand.

And across these be sure to be you. When you think of a great leader there is usually that one thing. Either the passion, or the way she/he communicates or her/his ability to drive action. What is YOUR one thing?

What an executive looks like is different today. So let’s revisit what executive presence means.

What does executive presence mean to you?

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It is not senior prom. Stop waiting to be asked

“Why don’t we have more women in leadership? Yes, there is definitely a bias. But we often sit back and wait to be asked. It is not senior prom! Stop waiting to be asked. If you want to get respect. Command it. You have to earn it”.

- Muffet McGraw, former head coach of Notre Dame women’s basketball team

So ladies, create visibility.

Be seen and recognized for the value you bring.

1. Self-promote, raise your hand, speak up
Layout the data for your advocates. Leaders go to those they know

2. Accentuate your successes and the impact YOU can have

3. Lead with “I” not only with “my team”

Visibility comes with challenges - it’s ok. If you are in the right place it’s what you can do, not if you play golf.

Lastly, remember that self-promotion is not bragging, and it is not inauthentic - just bring the data.

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How do I talk to my manager about a promotion and my aspirations?

I had a number of conversations about this recently with some rockstar women ready for that next step.

Here is what we discussed:

1. First the hard truth: Own your professional development and path! No one but YOU has the ultimate power to make and take your next steps. This does not mean you don't need advocates and sponsors along the way, but you can't only count on others to pull you up. You need to do the work and at times to open the doors.

2. Have the conversation. No matter what strategy you devise for the conversation, Nike got it right, just do it. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

3. Know your manager. Every manager is different. Some may actively open doors, some may be yay or nay sayers, some may not understand your want to grow and advance quickly. Identify what part in your career journey your manager can play, accepting that you may need to fill the rest of the needs elsewhere. Again, you own your career journey!

4. Make it easy. Lay out a plan and actionable steps that your manager can help you take. Say “I would like this assignment to prepare me for this role by this date”. Yes sometimes you need advice, but if you come with evidence, potential solutions and concrete wants you are making it easier for your manager to support your ask.

I have had managers that were 100% aligned and supportive of my aspirations and I had managers that appreciated my drive (or not), but didn't see me and my career path through the same lens. I got feedback that helped me grow and feedback that made me reflect and question. Ultimately it was / is my role to keep me on MY path. And I am thankful for that and for those who support me along the way.

Now go talk to your manager.

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I was a breastfeeding, working and traveling mom

I was a breastfeeding, working and traveling mom. It was hard.

Although COVID-19 “imposed” work from home made it easier, I wish I got more advice along the way. I had to google tips, experiment, improvise (from pumping in airplane bathrooms to restaurant kitchens ... somehow, somehow I made it past the two year mark).

So since it’s Mothers’ Day week, here are my top 4 tips: hope they will help even one mom in her breastfeeding feat.

1. Buy a great cooler. I love YETI commercials. A man fishing. Your beer will stay cold through an unforgettable venture. What about my week long business travel to UK? I invested in a YETI cooler, which was my carryon, fridge and best friend. Easier then dry ice, it got 24 beer cans worth of breast milk back to my baby after five days of travel. Maybe a new personal story commercial for YETI ;-)?

2. Step out and speak up. That uncomfortable walk out from a meeting filled with men (these days turning off your camera and going on mute). At some point I became ok with the head turning exits. I found comfortable ways to make it known that I needed a mother's break. I talked about it. My YETI accessory also helped to make a statement (although I imagine some scratched their heads).

3. Work for a company that values YOU. This can be a tough one, not everyone can switch jobs once they find out they are pregnant (if you need to, but can’t see tip #4). But definitely think about your future want to be a mom when choosing an employer. I recently wrote about being hired at 9 months pregnant. I was lucky to join company with people who have been supportive and accommodating to my want to breastfeed for so long. I am not a millennial, but in this case I challenge myself to think like one. I want to work for a company with a social purpose and culture that is invested in employees needs and reshaping the traditional workplace.

4. Know your rights. Yep they wanted me to dump a gallon of breastmilk at the airport. I didn't. I knew the rules, I kindly yet stubbornly articulated my rights. Yep a fellow mom's co-workers complained about her using company time to pump. She addressed their concerns head-on. Again research, ask and speak-up.

Breastfeeding is a personal choice and not by any means the right or best one for every mother. But for those of you that hold breastfeeding as a top priority know that you don't have to compromise in your professional life. You can do it.

Let’s support each other. Feel free to reach out.

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